I’m 50 pages into my second novel and I’m really excited about it. Except… well, now I have to write another 250 pages. I can do this. I’m home from work and I have a nice hot cup of English Breakfast tea in my hands. I stare at the computer screen. Perhaps I’ll feel inspired to write if I just let myself…
1. Go on Twitter
Yeah! If I browse other people’s tweets I’ll totally realize what I want to write about. Wait? It’s already been an hour? $&%#!!
2. Check email
Cause you know, maybe an agent who forgot about me has decided to write me back, declaring they loved my manuscript and can’t wait to call me. Or not. But hey! Look at all the people on gchat!
3. Check Facebook
Because stalking people is fun, right? Except some are really annoying. Maybe they’d make great characters?! I totally need to continue spying on stranger’s pages for research purposes.
4. Check UsWeekly, People and Dlisted
Because I really need to know if Demi and Ashton are breaking up and have more reasons to dislike pretentious Gwyneth Paltrow.
5. Terrorize the cat
Just look at how fat and cute and cuddly he is. How can I resist going over there to smother him with love?
6. Open the Refrigerator
Because snacking on pita chips and dipping into the hummus quartet from Trader Joe’s will spark my creative juices. I’ll start writing as soon as I’ve finished eating this carton of cottage cheese.
7. Go on BBC news
I need to be informed about what’s going on in the world. Yes, I’ll do that before I start writing. Okay… now I’m depressed.
8. Turn on the Television
Hello vacuous Kardashian sisters who I love to hate, creepy mothers of Toddlers in Tiaras and my favorite of all- the spray tanned beauties from My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding!!! And then maybe I’ll watch Say Yes to The Dress…I am getting married after all!
Because reading is what makes you a better writer, right? I need to finish this book before I can get back to writing my draft.
Oh…hello there! You caught me. But you see, I had to write this post as part of building my author platform. If I don’t blog then agents won’t like me. Yeah okay, writing the actual book is important too. I guess I’ll go get to work on that now.